Why I Created The Elderly Parent

In 2022, my Mom was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. There were signs along the way starting about two or three years before her diagnosis but nothing prepares you for the results of an MRI and a Neuropsychological Evaluation. My Mom was losing her mind, literally. I was like most people who only had a vague understanding of Alzheimer’s. I mainly knew it caused memory issues and there is no cure. In reality, it’s much more than that. Now, I have a much better understanding. Unfortunately, it’s like getting on a train, knowing all the stops along the way, and exactly where it’s heading – but there’s nothing you can do to stop it. It’s a helpless feeling.

I created this website for two main reasons:

1. I find it very therapeutic to write about my experiences.
2. After speaking to countless friends, family, and colleagues, it became very clear that there are not a lot of resources out there that tell you how to prepare for caring for an elderly parent, with real-world experiences.

In my profession as a software designer, research plays a critical role, so I am a research junky and I hope that you, the reader, will get to benefit from that.

Around the time my Mom’s dementia was progressing to the point that she could not live alone, I was going through a divorce. As painful as the divorce was, the timing was a blessing because I ended up moving in with my Mom where I could take care of her. However, I am extremely lucky to have an incredible family that all contribute to caring for my Mom. My brother, Todd (pictured below), has been my caretaker teammate. My Uncle Ed lives nearby and comes over often to check in on Mom and take her to dinner and appointments. His wife, Dot, takes my mom to hair appointments and brings her some of her delicious homemade food. My Aunt Terri lives in Maryland but comes up to stay for several days a few times a year. My Mom’s cousin, Barbara, also lives nearby and stops by to spend time with Mom and take her out to eat and go shopping. All of this made my job as Mom’s primary caretaker so much easier.

Disclaimer:
I need to point out the obvious: nothing on this website comes from a licensed practitioner, healthcare provider, or legal expert. It’s all just me retelling the lessons I’ve learned along the way from a (very) layman’s perspective.