You would think that after paying for long-term care insurance for years, getting the insurance company to actually pay for long-term care when you need it would be relatively straightforward.

Boy, was I wrong.

My mom has Alzheimer’s disease, and we’ve reached the point where she needs a home care aide to help her continue living independently in her own home. Fortunately, she had the foresight to purchase a long-term care insurance policy from Prudential.

Unfortunately, having long-term care insurance and actually getting the insurance company to pay for long-term care are two very different things.

My experience dealing with Prudential has been so frustrating that I’ve started to wonder whether the entire process is intentionally designed to delay paying out benefits for as long as humanly possible. After all, the longer they delay, the greater the chance that an elderly policyholder will pass away before Prudential has to pay out much, if anything.

I obviously can’t prove that’s their intention, but when you experience what I’ve experienced, it’s hard not to wonder.

You Can’t Even Download a Copy of Your Policy

One of the first things I wanted to do was download a copy of my mom’s long-term care insurance policy, so I could upload it to my AI assistant and ask it questions about exactly what was covered, what the requirements were, and how much coverage she had.

Seems like a pretty reasonable thing to want to do, right?

Despite having access to Prudential’s online portal, there was no option to download a PDF of her actual policy. Instead, I had to submit a request to have a hard copy of the policy mailed to me.

Think about that. It’s 2026, and one of the largest insurance companies in the country doesn’t provide its customers with the ability to download a copy of their long-term care insurance policy from their website.

Something that should take approximately 30 seconds requires another interaction with Prudential.

And that brings me to my next frustration.

Calling Prudential Is an Exercise in (Extreme) Patience

Every time I need to speak with someone at Prudential about my mom’s long-term care insurance, I know I’m going to lose a significant portion of my day.

First, I have to navigate through a ridiculous series of five to eight automated prompts and questions. Once I finally make it through that obstacle course, I’m typically put on hold for nearly 45 minutes before I can speak to an actual human being.

And, of course, none of this takes into consideration the fact that many of the people who purchased these policies are now elderly themselves.

Imagine being 85 years old, having difficulty hearing, struggling with technology, or experiencing cognitive decline, and trying to navigate this process on your own.

Impossible.

There Is Virtually No Visibility Into the Status of Your Claim

When Prudential requested my mom’s medical records to assess her eligibility for long-term care benefits, they mailed a letter to the wrong office. They didn’t call and talk to someone who could have told them the correct office to contact. They mailed a letter via USPS. The only way I know this is because I called Prudential and they told me who they mailed the letter to. If I didn’t call, there would have been even more delays. Finally, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I got the medical records myself and faxed them to Prudential.

From there, I assumed there would be some notification or way to track the progress online.

There wasn’t.

No online status updates. No notification that the medical records had been received. No indication of what was outstanding or what the next step would be.

I had to call Prudential five separate times just to get updates.

That’s five separate occasions of navigating their automated phone system, sitting on hold, and explaining why I was calling.

I’m a software designer, so I really struggle to understand why I can’t simply log into the portal and see something like this?

• Medical records requested
• Medical records received
• Medical records under review
• Additional information required
• Claim approved
• Benefits eligible to begin

We can track a $10 package from Amazon from the moment it leaves a warehouse to the moment it arrives at our front door, but apparently, tracking a long-term care insurance claim is too technologically advanced for Prudential.

Everything Seems to Require Another Letter in the Mail

Here’s where things get even more ridiculous.

Once Prudential receives the medical records, the next step is for them to mail you a letter (via USPS) containing a form that you need to fill out and mail back to them to open a claim.

Why couldn’t this form have been provided when the medical records were originally requested? Why can’t it be completed online? Why couldn’t the two things happen simultaneously?

Instead, we have to wait for one thing to happen before another thing can happen, with traditional mail adding even more time to the process.

Every step seems to introduce another unnecessary delay.

Meanwhile, my mom still needs care. Her Alzheimer’s isn’t going to conveniently stop progressing while Prudential processes paperwork.

And we’re paying $900+ per week out-of-pocket for a part-time home care aide.

Then There’s the Ridiculous 90-Day Waiting Period

After jumping through all these hoops and finally getting a claim approved, there’s another hurdle: a 90-day waiting period, also known as an elimination period, under my mom’s policy.

Yes, 90 days.

After paying insurance premiums for years, submitting medical records, completing paperwork, and establishing that you legitimately need long-term care, there’s still a period of care that the policy won’t pay for.

When you’re caring for an elderly parent, 90 days is a long time. A lot can happen to an elderly person in three months, particularly someone with a progressive disease like Alzheimer’s.

And that’s precisely what bothers me about this entire process.

Unlike other types of insurance, long-term care insurance is often used by people who are approaching the end of their lives. Every additional week or month that passes could mean less money the insurance company ultimately has to pay out.

When you combine the waiting period with the paperwork, the lack of communication, the reliance on traditional mail, and the difficulty of getting anyone on the phone, it’s hard not to question who really benefits from all these delays.

It certainly isn’t the elderly person who needs care.

Make Sure You Have Power of Attorney WELL in Advance

If there’s one piece of advice I can give anyone whose elderly parent has long-term care insurance, it’s this: Make sure you have Power of Attorney established long before you think you’ll need it.

I cannot imagine trying to navigate this process without the legal authority to act on my mom’s behalf.

My mom has Alzheimer’s. She would have tremendous difficulty understanding the questions Prudential asks, navigating their phone system, completing the paperwork, obtaining her medical records, or following up on the status of her claim.

Yet she’s exactly the type of person this insurance was designed to help.

Don’t wait until your parent is diagnosed with dementia or reaches the point where they need long-term care to start thinking about Power of Attorney. By then, they may no longer have the legal capacity to grant it.

Make sure the Power of Attorney gives you the appropriate authority to handle insurance and financial matters, and that the necessary documentation is on file with the insurance company. You may also need separate authorization to access your parent’s medical records.

Trust me, you don’t want to be dealing with these issues on top of everything else when the time comes.

What I Recommend Doing BEFORE Your Parent Needs Long-Term Care

If your elderly parent has a long-term care insurance policy, here are some things I recommend doing now, based on what I’ve learned:

• Obtain a complete copy of their long-term care insurance policy.
• Upload it to your favorite AI assistant so you can ask it questions about the policy.
• Find out what medical conditions or limitations qualify them for benefits.
• Understand the elimination period and whether it’s based on calendar days or actual days of qualifying care.
• Find out what qualifications a home care aide must have to be covered.
• Establish Power of Attorney and submit the necessary documentation to the insurance company.
• Find out how to obtain your parent’s medical records and where to send them — and do it yourself.
• Keep a detailed log of every phone call, including dates, representatives’ names, and what you were told.
• Start the claim process as early as possible once your parent may qualify for benefits.

Don’t assume the insurance company is going to proactively guide you through this process.

The Bottom Line

Caring for an elderly parent with Alzheimer’s is hard enough.

You’re dealing with doctors, medications, safety concerns, appointments, home care arrangements, financial decisions, and the emotional toll of watching someone you love slowly lose their independence.

The last thing you need is to spend hours on the phone fighting through bureaucratic bullshit with an insurance company your parent has been paying for years.

My mom purchased long-term care insurance so that when this time in her life came, she would have the financial resources to get the care she needed.

Well, that time has come.

She held up her end of the bargain. Now I’m trying to get Prudential to hold up theirs.

I don’t expect special treatment. I don’t expect Prudential to pay for anything beyond what my mom’s policy covers. I simply expect a reasonably efficient, transparent, and compassionate process for accessing the benefits she paid for.

Is that really too much to ask?

For a company that has spent decades marketing itself as “The Rock,” my experience has felt more like trying to push a giant boulder uphill.

And I can’t help but wonder how many elderly policyholders, particularly those who don’t have someone advocating for them, simply give up before ever collecting the benefits they spent years paying for.